Twenty ridiculous ways to self-medicate
The horrors of traditional medicine
Gastroenterologist Evgeny Dubivka for INFOMEDNET.RUMedical practice sometimes presents real surprises in communicating with patients.
Being interested in patients, what they took, sometimes you have to hear about such methods of self-treatment, from which the hair on the head involuntarily moves. Our people are recovering in every way – kerosene, pigeon blood and even excrement are used. Unfortunately, despite all the achievements of medicine, mass consciousness in many respects remains as superstitious and dark as in the days of Vikenty Veresaev and Mikhail Bulgakov.
1. Prayer for sinusitis.Recipe: Close your nose with your fingers and recite the prayer "Our Father" at least 100 times.
With God's help, the disease will be defeated!
According to the patient, under the influence of prayer, vibrations unknown to science arise in the nasopharynx and maxillary sinuses, which contributes to a speedy recovery. The main thing is that then the priest does not have to bury the devout worshipper.
2. Candle, thread and otitis.Recipe: Light a candle, heat the thread and drive clockwise around the inflamed ear.
So do 3 evenings in a row. It helped me and I advise you!
In this case, it is probably assumed that there will be some special "twists" that relieve the patient from inflammation of the middle ear.
3. Toad strangles sore throat.Recipe 1: Catch an ordinary frog, squeeze it with your hands, and holding it in front of you, open your mouth wide.
Then the animal is released, saying: "Toad-toad, attach a sore to your side."
Recipe 2: Put a frog in a container with milk and keep the amphibian there for half an hour, after which it is necessary to drink milk.
To be honest, you can still understand Latin American drug addicts who catch and lick toads whose skin contains intoxicating substances, but to hope that angina will pass in this way is no longer traditional medicine, but real obscurantism…
4. Onion napalm for the nose.Recipe: Freshly squeezed onion juice should be instilled into each nostril 3-5 drops 3-4 times a day for several days.
All germs will die in no time!
In fact, onion juice causes inflammation, burns of the mucous membranes of the nose and can even lead to nosebleeds.
5. Cognac is a virus killer.Recipe: Having caught a bad cold, on the first, or at least on the second day of the disease, you need to drink 300 grams of cognac in the evening, before going to bed.
The next morning, the disease did not happen!
In addition to a hangover, in addition to a headache due to the flu or SARS, you will not have to expect anything.
6. Sunflower oil is the winner of hemorrhoids.Recipe: Gargle with sunflower oil (1 tablespoon) for 15 minutes three times a day.
After a week, the hemorrhoids will recede.
We Slavs often tend to approach the problem from the wrong side…
7. Kerosene and dandruff.Recipe: For dandruff, wipe the scalp with aviation kerosene twice a week.
After a month, the hair will be cleaned, become thick and shiny.
After such treatment, some patients managed to really get rid of dandruff, however, along with their hair. It should be noted that "kerosene therapy" is the most popular direction in folk medicine. Kerosene is "watered" left and right for a number of skin and rheumatological diseases, ENT pathology and even for lymphogranulomatosis, leukemia and cervical cancer. At best, after taking kerosene for a long time, a person is threatened with poisoning or toxic hepatitis, at worst, precious time will be lost, which is fraught with the saddest consequences.
8. Head against the wall.Recipe: A person suffering from high blood pressure should rest his head against the wall for a couple of minutes a day.
And the headaches will pass, and the pressure will drop.
What a treatment! Neither give nor take – "Egyptian darkness". A man hugging a wall is clearly convinced that effective antihypertensive drugs are harmful developments of greedy bourgeois.
9. The dead in the service of the living.Recipe: The existing wart should be circled three times – clockwise – by the hand of the deceased person.
You will not have time to blink an eye, as your wart will disappear somewhere!
The achievements of modern medicine in the form of surgical excision, cryodestruction, laser and electrocoagulation of warts are nothing compared to the grandfather's method!
10. Vodka is a Russian method of treating parasitosis.Recipe: mix 30 grams of vodka with 2 tablespoons of sunflower oil.
Drink the resulting mixture quickly, in large sips. The healing drink should be prepared and consumed 3 times a day. In just 2 weeks, all the worms will die.
Such an approach to the treatment of helminthiasis looks more like alcoholism. Parasites, if they are in the body, of course, nothing bad will happen, but maybe someone will rejoice at the opportunity to be tipsy for half a month.
11. Zoovampirism.Recipe: Drink pigeon blood for anemia 1-2 times a week.
After a while, the hemoglobin will be such that at least fly into space!
Sorry, but this is no longer a cure, but sadism half with black magic.
12. Gifts of the bee world.Recipe: A woman suffering from infertility should eat one bee belly a day.
You need to be treated for the whole summer and pregnancy will come soon.
Specialists from reproductive medicine clinics do not even realize how simple everything is. And yet, if you fail to get pregnant, then in the conditions of the global food crisis, eating insects, you can save a little on food. According to experts of the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations, insects are an excellent source of proteins and vitamins.
13. Salvation from headaches.Recipe: Tie a red thread around your wrist during a migraine attack, and the pain will go away like melted water.
Do not look here for a reflex effect on the elimination of headaches and do not remember the existence of a placebo effect! Apparently, the one who recommends just such a thread has tried all the others and established the indisputable effectiveness of the red color.
14. Garlic and teeth.Recipe: From the side where the tooth hurts, tie a clove of garlic to the wrist.
He will quickly ease the suffering.
Official medicine, of course, respects the healing properties of garlic, but, apparently, this method of treatment is resorted to by people who are afraid of contracting viral hepatitis and HIV infection in dental offices.
15. Man is a ruminant animal. Recipe: For stomach ulcers, you need to eat fresh comfrey leaves (larkspur) 3-4 times a day.
The ulcer will heal in a few weeks.
The US Food and Drug Administration in 2001 declared the danger of internal use of comfrey. Larkspur has long been excluded from the list of medicinal plants of a number of European countries. Rumor has it that this herb is even potentially carcinogenic. But, most importantly, when eating comfrey, you need to remember that it is practically not digested in the stomach, as a result of which a phytobezoar is formed in the organ cavity – a compressed foreign body consisting mainly of undigested plant fibers. As a result, if endoscopists with the help of a probe fail to extract the bezoar, such "phytotherapy" will end on the operating table.
16. Earwax instead of ointment.Recipe: Lubricate the earwax with earwax several times a day.
A week later, there will be no trace of this disease.
Which, as they say, is cheap and angry.
17. Snot – fighters of callusesRecipe: Several times a day, you need to lubricate calluses or scuffs on your feet with snot and soon you will feel relief.
Woe to the one who will not have a runny nose! Well, what can I say here – pure barbarism.
18. Cum for a beautiful face.Recipe: For acne and other rashes, it is necessary to apply a cosmetic mask of semen on the face 2-3 times a week.
After a month, the skin will become clean, velvety and elastic.
Obviously, some men have gone beyond a simple misunderstanding of why women spend so much money on cosmetics…
19. Urina is on guard of health.Recipe: Half a cup of morning urine should be drunk daily on an empty stomach with an exacerbation of any disease.
Recovery is guaranteed!
Urine therapy "affects" almost all diseases known to mankind. The method has many applications, but the most common is ingestion. Urine, I must say, like vodka, our people "jam" glasses. Urine of pregnant women, rich in estrogens, is in particular demand among people who are fanatically devoted to urine. Urine supposedly has a beneficial effect on the aging processes, primarily of the skin of the face, therefore, the apologists of urine therapy recommend women to wash with urine daily. Some citizens put compresses on the area of diseased joints. In addition to the external use of urine, douching is common in inflammatory gynecological diseases. Adherents of a dubious type of treatment are not confused by a long-proven fact: urine does not contain any useful substances.
20. Life without waste.Recipe: Apply feces to the affected area of the body 1-2 times a day.
Treatment takes an average of two weeks. And eczema, and psoriasis, and other skin sores, will be delayed like a dog!
Applications of feces for dermatological diseases, according to popular beliefs, have anti-inflammatory, wound-healing and regenerative properties. Especially inspired by the opening prospects of recovery, patients take feces inside. In addition to the use of human excrement, animal feces are used. So, there is a known method of treating helminthiasis with horse manure, which, when used orally, supposedly has a deworming effect. There are recipes for the use of cow feces inside for gastric ulcer and duodenal ulcer. The line between so–called calotherapy and coprophilia - a mental deviation, apparently, is small. Probably, it is superfluous to talk about the lack of effect of the use of feces.
Portal "Eternal youth" http://vechnayamolodost.ru15.04.2011