Age is not a hindrance to sex

Sex after 60Natalia Alexandrova, sex therapist, magazine "60 years is not an age"

(published on the Third Age website)

What kind of sex after 60 can we talk about – our elderly male visitors will say. For sex at this age, you need to be an oligarch, have a tight wallet to be surrounded by young girlfriends. Or at least be a very popular person, like our famous film director, who has changed seven wives – one younger than the other.

Women over 60 who enter the "Third Age" will generally sigh sadly. Except for two famous popular singers, and there is no one to remember about this. But not all are popular singers. And what about the rest?

The topic of sexual relations from once hidden in our society has become one of the most discussed. However, sex at an older age remains more often a reason for jokes of comedians... Meanwhile, experts consider this area of life of the elderly to be very important. And they develop recommendations and tools to help men and women maintain the ability and desire to maintain intimate relationships for as long as possible.

Useful and neededThe benefits of maintaining sexual relations until old age were known in ancient times.

According to the ancient Chinese philosophical teaching of the Tao, sex can delay the process of physical aging and prolong life, and therefore it is recommended in old age as a medicine and prevention of many diseases. Taoists believed that the desire for intimacy among spouses who have lived together for many years does not fade, on the contrary, harmonious sexual relations are possible only with real intimacy between spouses, which arises over the years.

Modern scientists also consider sex as one of the factors of longevity. Thus, at the last gerontological conference in London, the results of a ten-year follow-up of 918 men aged 45 to 59 years were presented. They were divided into three groups according to the frequency of sex. And it turned out that the most active, who reached orgasm two or more times a week, had mortality rates half lower than those who had sex less than once a month or did not have them at all. Well, in the intermediate group, average indicators were recorded.

At the same conference, data obtained by scientists from the University of Sheffield were presented that an active sex life strengthens health. Men are less likely to have prostate cancer, women have a reduced risk of developing breast cancer. In addition, sex has a beneficial effect on digestion, and rhythmic movements and muscle contractions increase muscle tone.

Dr. Merrin Gott, who examined married couples whose average age was 67, also convincingly proved that an active sex life has a positive effect on the physical and mental health of older people. Their mood improves, their self-esteem increases, and their spiritual unity with their partner grows stronger.
Researchers also note that today's elderly people are more interested in intimate relationships than their peers 20-30 years ago, and they feel younger than pensioners of the 80s and 90s. Apparently, this is a consequence of the increase in life expectancy in developed countries.

The US National Council on Aging investigated how older Americans feel about having sex. Surveys were conducted of 3 thousand people from 57 to 85 years old. It turned out that 61% of men and 37% of women aged 57-65 years and more than 50% of men and 30% of women aged 66-74 years remain sexually active. And even in the 75-85 age group, 26% of people support (or try to maintain) such activity. Interestingly, over 60% of the study participants consider intimate relationships at an older age to be more equal and physically more satisfying than when they were 40-50 years old. And they express their wishes that specialists actively help them in solving sexual problems.

Taking into account the complaints of older people about the lack of information about intimate relationships in this age group, the administration of the British city of Manchester, for example, has released an illustrated guide on sexual life for people over 50 years old. The manual has sections such as "Let's talk about sex" and "Courtship Tips", and also contains information about sexually transmitted infections and age-related changes in appearance and sexual system. The five thousandth edition cost the city council and the health administration 8 thousand pounds. The benefit was distributed free of charge on October 2 – the British Day of the Elderly.

And here is another interesting fact. In one of the districts of the Polish city of Rakibortz, the population was divided into two opposing camps: young people actively advocate the closure of a sex shop, while older people actively defend it. "This store helps a lot," say men and women over 60 who are its active customers.

But older Russians are more likely to have a bashful attitude towards sexual relations and a desire to hush up this topic. Well, many older people have such psychological attitudes formed by social ideology, parents who have lived in harsh conditions for decades and did not dream of "joys". Recently, I was approached by a woman who asked: is it not evidence of pathology that she has an "indecent" desire to have sex at the age of 67?..

Having explained the essence of her misconceptions, I gave an example described in some sources on gerontology. When Princess Metternich was asked at what age a woman loses her sexual desire, she boldly replied: "Ask someone older, I'm only sixty...".

But I note: constantly thinking about love games, looking for new "fresh" and young partners is also a pathology. Everything is good in moderation.

Support – a healthy lifestyleOf course, in addition to the mentality, many people have objective reasons to limit sexual relations.

Yes, of course, they give positive emotions, revitalize blood circulation and metabolism, but at the same time they take a lot of energy, lead to an increase in blood pressure, are a load for the heart, brain and blood vessels. The risk of heart attacks in adulthood increases several times with such a load, it is not by chance that the novels of older men with young women sometimes lead to a tragic outcome. It is possible to recall Raphael, the great painter and architect, who died of a broken heart during an act of love.

Therefore, people with arterial hypertension, atherosclerosis, coronary heart disease, neurological disorders should regularly consult with cardiologists and other specialists about their physiological capabilities, so as not to overestimate them. And of course, it is necessary to treat your illnesses in a timely manner.

It is impossible not to withdraw from the account the physiological menopause, which can become a natural cause of the extinction of sexual desire in representatives of both sexes. In women, due to a decrease in the level of estrogens in the post-menopausal period, there is a change in the genitals, thinning of the mucous membrane. This can make sexual intercourse difficult, make it uncomfortable, although the woman does not lose the ability to satisfy. In men, sexual function decreases due to problems with the prostate gland: potency decreases, the ability to erect decreases.

Age-related problems manifest themselves in different ways and at different times, depending on the actual biological age and on the innate properties of the reproductive system, which both men and women can have strong, medium or weak. For example, studies show that in most healthy men, sexual ability weakens gradually, starting from the sixth or even seventh decade of life. We must not forget that there are drugs that negatively affect a man's potency and a woman's sexual desire, for example, antidepressants, some hypertensive drugs, tranquilizers. After their cancellation, sexual desire may return again.

But the main component of preserving sexual ability is a healthy lifestyle. It is known that proper nutrition, a full eight-hour sleep, the exclusion of alcohol and smoking, dosed physical activity, the ability to cope with stress and psychological overstrain maintain health, and at the same time sexual potential is preserved. A healthy lifestyle is also important because it helps a person maintain muscle tone and mental activity, maintain attractiveness, be fit and energetic. And when a person is not shy about his body, his confidence in his abilities is strengthened, which also contributes to the preservation of sexual activity.

Plus a psychological attitudeAnalyzing the results of studies of the sexual relations of older people, experts concluded that at this age, sexual activity is significantly influenced by the psychological mood, the internal state of a person.

And the very content of sexuality is changing. If the physiological side is more pronounced in the younger years (poses, the number of sexual acts), then in adulthood, when people begin to appreciate spiritual qualities more, the love side of sex comes out in the first place. Such a psychological attitude is especially important for a woman.

Therefore, if the sexual relations of elderly spouses are hindered by some psychological reasons, it is better for a woman to take the initiative in eliminating them.

Of course, long years of living side by side give birth not only to feelings of unity and kinship, but also habits, ordinariness, lead to the loss of novelty of relationships. And if you think that your partner can't offer you anything interesting, just like you, then you can try to change, if not the situation itself, then at least the attitude towards it. For example, you can take a walk through the memorable places of your youth: visit the park where your dates took place, where you kissed so delightfully on warm summer evenings.

Wonderful memories of youth will revive your feelings. And in general, in order to revive interesting communication and take a fresh look at a life partner, you do not need to sit at home in front of the TV, but visit theaters, concerts, go on excursions - this will give new topics for communication between spouses. Finally, you can simply arrange a romantic candlelit dinner in a beautiful setting.

It should also be remembered that in order to preserve love desire and inhibit age-related changes, it is extremely important to regularly maintain sexual function. Long breaks in intimate relationships in old age easily lead to irreversible consequences. Abstinence or refusal from sex inhibits the production of sex hormones, which affects not only libido, but also the general condition of the body.

And even if at first attempts to have sex do not cause you much enthusiasm, then, adjusting psychologically accordingly, over time you will notice that intimacy brings pleasure, and the desire arises faster and more often.

Portal "Eternal youth" http://vechnayamolodost.ru11.01.2010