About the bastard doctors
Ten reasons for retrainingABC Magazine, Tatiana Solomatina, obstetrician-gynecologist, PhD
There is no profession in the world more harmful to people than a doctor. Even nuclear physicists have harmed the planet much less. The theorem: "a good doctor is a non–working doctor." And now I will prove it to you.
Firstly, all doctors are money lovers. Why do you think he once entered a medical university? Yes, precisely because he was hungry for gold. I was hungry for easy money! If he had wished the good of all mankind, dreamed of serving the ideals of humanism, this little, but even then a crappy man, did not rave about a white coat and green pajamas, did not memorize biology and chemistry at school, but bit into the basics of marketing and would have dreamed of becoming a manager for the sale of advertising space.
But no! The bastard entered and cut frogs, these defenseless living creatures, on normal physiology. I tortured my mewing and barking brothers of our smaller ones on the cycle of operative surgery, stuck needles into defenseless human bodies while studying clinical disciplines. What naturally developed his natural inclinations – to enjoy suffering. And even if the frog does not have pain sensitivity, the dog was under anesthesia, and before giving the injection to a person for the first time, he stuffed his hand on dummies, it is still clear that anyone, both future and especially a real doctor, is a sadist. This is the second.
Thirdly, any doctor is a cad by definition. Well, remember, didn't some werewolf with a phonendoscope around his neck at least once in his life tell you: "Wait a minute!", "Sorry, I'm busy!", or even at all: "Close the door, please, I have a patient!"? And more than once or twice I have told you in a completely boorish way: "How did you bring yourself to such a state?! Why didn't you apply earlier?!"
Although he knows perfectly well that you did not apply precisely because you do not have money for any nonsense like your health, that you, like any normal person, are not a sadist, but on the contrary: you are ready to endure any pain and any weakness, just not to hear constant undisguised medical rudeness. Hypocrites! Doctors, of course. It is the doctors. And this is only the fourth.
Fifth, all doctors are cynics. Recently, I was asked this question on the radio: "Ordinary people think that all doctors are cynics! What can you say to that?!" and even stamped their foot on the other side of the telephone connection. Well, what could I say? Of course, the truth is the truth and nothing but the truth. Yes, all doctors are cynics, dear philistines, and you can't get away from this cruel fact anywhere. What is true, when I was crucified on the radio, like the writer Solomatina, I also added, they say, cynicism is the only weapon of the defenseless, as the writer Dovlatov said. And that this very cynicism helps doctors protect themselves from burnout syndrome and stay in the ranks as long as possible.
Because if every particular doctor sees in every particular suffering patient only his pain and sits next to him and pats his head, then nothing good will come of it. Then he will not become a doctor, but Mother Teresa, and he will be of exactly zero whole tenths of a point as a specialist. Because he is, after all, a doctor, not a nurse. She explained that such so-called cynicism does not mean that the doctor is merciless. On the contrary, such "cynicism" allows him to remain efficient and useful to a particular patient, and not to the whole world harmony in general. The latter, perhaps, is very commendable, but it is of no use. "He was so kind and beautiful that he was good for nothing," as the cynical doctor Chekhov once wrote. But the questioner did not believe my answer. But in vain. Because doctors – sixth – are truthful.
And even, quite often, truth-tellers. They will not stuff you with sweet lies and tell you that this cute tumor will resolve itself. No, the doctors will tell you that you need this and that. And as soon as possible. Among other things, there may be an operation, sometimes quite extensive and with great risk. Radiation and chemotherapy, the side effects of which will not be the most pleasant for your body. And nothing, bastards, will sweeten the pill. They can also, instead of wiping away your tears all day long, while others who need it are sitting under the door, and raise their voice. To blurt out some next rudeness like: "Pull yourself together! Calm down! There's nothing to shed tears for nothing. It is necessary to fight for life and health, and not to breed dampness!" This is where their rudeness, cynicism and sadism are revealed most of all. And after that, we return to greed and avarice again. Because the drug therapy prescribed by these worthless creatures is also by no means cheap. It is clear to any sane individual that doctors are profiting from medicines. They are sales agents of huge pharmaceutical concerns working for the evil of all mankind. Seventh.
Don't you naively believe that antibiotics of the last and most recent series are created to combat strains of harmful microorganisms resistant to conventional treatment? Of course not! You're too smart for that. Any medicines, any vaccines and even vitamins are created so that pharmacologists and doctors shake money out of the pockets of gullible people. What is insulin if there is breathing exercises? There's the well-known eccentric with the letter M from the TV, who is notorious for his unselfishness, confirmed this to the whole country! Billions… No, some - so–called scientists – create myriads of harmful medicines, while others - so-called healers – distribute them.
Eighth, they lie like the latest bastards, do not look that sixth, they are truth-seekers. For example, you are coughing and are about to be treated for deadly swine flu, and he says to you in the forehead: "Oh, come on, my dear, you only have tuberculosis! And you will die from it much faster than from your flu, which you don't have." Or he can write straight off the bat that amputation is necessary for diabetic gangrene, although one woman said (OBS) that blackening of the toes is treated with lemon juice infused with pigeon droppings.
Ninth, doctors have mutual responsibility. One of the most corrupt industries, do not go to offshore zones for oil magnates!
And finally, tenth (and most importantly), they are disgusting just because they exist, these doctors are bastards. By the way, do you know who the bastards are? In the Middle Ages, there was such a profession – dragging the dead during various epidemics and all sorts of pestilences. The work of the bastard was unpleasant and little-respected, but someone had to do it so that the corpses on the streets of cities and villages would not decompose. So I propose, in the name of the final triumph of the ideals of humanism, to convert doctors into bastards. In conditions when there is harassment of the former, the latter are becoming more and more relevant.
(The so-called folk etymology of the word "bastard" is left to the conscience of the author. In Dahl's dictionary, "A bastard is everything that is swamped or dragged into one place: weeds, grass and roots, litter, swollen with a harrow from arable land; shoddy people, connecting rods, thieves, scoundrels who have converged somewhere." – WM.)
Portal "Eternal youth" http://vechnayamolodost.ru30.08.2010