Russian scientists! Fight for the Nobel Prize!
Nobel and SchnobelGrigory Tarasevich, "Russian Reporter"
To be great, you don't have to be serious
The announcement of the Nobel laureates is now in full swing.
All kinds of chromosomes, nuclear reactions and tricky chemical terms are becoming the number one news of the world press. The presentation of the so-called Ignobel Prize, awarded the day before for scientific achievements, "which first cause laughter, and then make you think," was also not ignored.
Harvard awarded the IgNobelPrize, which in the Russian version is more often referred to as the "Nobel Prize". Although the ceremony is headed by real Nobel laureates, the event resembles a good KVN: paper airplanes, an opera about microbes, the transformation of bras into respirators. Joyfully.
"...Nomination "Healthcare". The prize is awarded for the experimental establishment of the fact that pathogenic microbes cling to the beards of scientists. By the way, one of the authors of this discovery, Mr. Bairbeito, could not come to the ceremony for medical reasons. We wish him good health!"Personally, I have always been surprised that serious scientists are not afraid to publicly joke about sex, underwear, bad smells and other frivolous things.
It's probably something deep. Just as a medieval carnival replaced strict Christian canons with cheerful obscenity for a few days, so the Nobel Prize once a year overthrows professorial solidity.
"...The prize in biology goes to a group of zoologists from China and the UK for determining the role of oral sex in the life of bats. The results of their observations shocked us. Applause!"All the winners of the "Nobel Prize" can be divided into two categories.
One medal is awarded in retaliation for some global-scale nastiness (for example, this year the award was awarded to leading American corporations responsible for the economic crisis). Others simply conducted a scientific study, the topic of which seems comical.
In both cases, the award of the prize looks like pure mockery. Each laureate becomes an object over which millions of citizens of the planet giggle, the benefit of the "Shnobel" is covered even by provincial newspapers of underdeveloped countries. Personally, I wouldn't risk it. But every year more than half of the awardees come to the ceremony, and sometimes they have to get from the other side of the planet. Brave people.
"...The physics prize will go to New Zealand. Lianna Parkin, Sheila Williams and Patricia Pryst from the University of Otago found that people slip and fall less on ice if they wear socks over their shoes. As soon as winter comes, we will definitely take advantage of their discovery. Isn't it?"Russia has received "Shnobel" only twice.
Once it was awarded to corresponding member of the Russian Academy of Sciences Yuri Struchkov in the nomination "Literature" - in ten years he managed to publish 948 scientific papers. The second winner in 2002 was Gazprom — "for the application of the mathematical concept of imaginary numbers in the field of business."
Two awards in twenty years is not enough. One can even suspect the jury of double standards and belittling the role of Russian science. But seriously… Actually, this seriousness is just the point.
"...The award for achievements in the field of management is received by a group of Italian scientists. They showed that the company will work more efficiently if employees are promoted not on some principle, but at random. To be honest, we always suspected it, but the guys found serious mathematical proofs."Science in Russia has a very stern face.
What kind of jokes can there be during the modernization period?! Solid scientists should also look solid. It is difficult to imagine the collection "Nanotechnologists are joking".
Looking at some academician, dean or director of a research institute, I vividly imagine this person at a meeting of the Politburo of the Central Committee of the CPSU or at the funeral of a village priest. But at the "Shnobel" ceremony it does not work out in any way. However, at the ceremony of awarding a real Nobel Prize, too. And sometimes I have a seditious thought: maybe the lack of bright discoveries is somehow connected with this "animal seriousness"?
P. S. The Department of Science "PP" calls on the scientific community and ordinary citizens to help Russia overcome the backlog in the number of "Nobel Prizes". We ask you to send us information about the most comical, paradoxical, indecent, absurd, etc. scientific research. The most worthy works will be submitted to the IgNobelPrize jury. We hope that in 2011 the representative of our country will still get into the Harvard hall.
Please send the information to: igNobel-Russia@yandex.ru .Portal "Eternal youth" http://vechnayamolodost.ru