25 facts about love
From sex and falling in love to depression and separation
Love is universal. Previously, there was an opinion that romantic love is inherent only to representatives of Western civilization. But anthropologist William Yankowiak proved the opposite: love is a universal feeling that is inherent in 88.5% of the cultures he studied. And people of any race, gender or age experience it. Moreover, the scientist claims, this phenomenon has biological roots.
To understand how attractive a person is, just one glance is enough. A group of scientists from the California Institute of Technology found out that even minimal information is enough to understand whether it is worth talking to an attractive stranger at a party. Neural activity in two areas of the prefrontal cortex is responsible for this. It was associated with two components of romantic evaluation: either judgments about physical beauty, or individual preferences based on the perception of the partner's personality. Therefore, in a sense, love at first sight exists, but it is more correct to call it an attraction based on a mixture of physical and psychological judgments formed in specific areas of the brain.
The duration of love depends on your expectations. German scientists studied 1965 couples and came to the conclusion that there are two models of the development of love. In the first, people who were at different levels of happiness at the beginning of the relationship paid more attention to conflicts and inevitably broke up. In the second model, the accumulation of distress occurred more slowly, so the lovers managed to maintain the relationship and cope with conflicts more effectively.
The chances of love grow if you talk about yourself positively. Scientists from Concordia University found that at the beginning of a relationship, an important role is played by the so-called framing effect, that is, focus on positive or negative information about a person. This is especially important for women who, due to an evolutionary phenomenon known as the "parental investment theory", are more suspicious of negative information when evaluating a potential partner. And as a result, relationships are more likely to start if each of the participants names their positive traits.
Romantic infatuation is akin to cocaine. Anthropologist Helen Fisher said that during her research, she scanned the brains of lovers using MRI, showing their object of love. She noticed that the same area of the brain that becomes active after cocaine use was activated. According to her, romantic love is much stronger than sexual attraction: "If you are simply denied sexual intimacy, you will not kill yourself or someone else. But if the object of romantic love refuses you, you can do both."
When romantic love passes, attachment remains. Another study and again using an MRI machine: scientists from University College London confirmed Helen Fisher's theory that romantic love is replaced by affection. In men who have been in a relationship for more than two years, arousal was recorded in the anterior cingulate cortex and insular area. Scientists have concluded that the brain reacts differently to the object of love. And these feelings have become calmer and deeper.
You don't need a perfect partner for love. Economists Stephen White and Benno Torgler analyzed the behavior of more than 41,000 Australians aged 18 to 80 using data from the online dating site RSVP. Their conclusion was quite simple: people start communicating and fall in love, even if their partner does not match their ideal image. One of the reasons, according to scientists, is a large number of options, and there may simply not be enough time to find and study all available potential partners.
The more demands on the partner, the greater the disappointment. The study, conducted by University of Edinburgh psychologist Alison Lenton and Essex University economist Marco Francesconi, analyzed more than 3,700 dating decisions in 84 quick dates. The authors found that if the number of requirements for a potential partner was very high: age, height, occupation, income, level of education, then people made fewer dating offers. This effect was enhanced if the number of potential partners increased. That is, in fact, a large number of options and the same number of requirements worsen the possibility of choice, and most often people left speed dating disappointed.
Similar people are attracted, not opposites. Most often, couples are formed by those who are similar in personal characteristics, including age, religion, political orientation and intelligence level. For example, according to scientific data, people who have an anxious attachment style and worry about being abandoned, a partner with a similar character increases satisfaction in a relationship. The same happens if a number of other factors coincide: for example, people get up early or, on the contrary, prefer to sleep longer.
The price of love is two close friends. British anthropologist Robin Dunbar argues that romantic partners consume time, which leaves less time for friends. According to his research, a new partner displaces on average two close friends, and romantic relationships inevitably take time away from relationships with family and the closest circle of friends.
And financial expenses will also grow. Another study claims that falling in love causes a feeling of insecurity: it is unclear whether your feelings will be reciprocated. And then the search for diversity begins, that is, impulsive purchases of something that a person has not taken before. According to the authors, this may be a symbolic means of restoring a sense of control. In their conclusion, scientists at Nanyang Technological University in Singapore are very cynical: since modern consumers reveal their relationship status through social networks, companies can target those who are in love with the help of advertising campaigns that include a variety of product options.
Genes have no influence on the choice of a partner. This is what scientists from University of Queensland. Their results show that genes do not have much direct influence on the choice of a partner based on such characteristics as body size, personality, age or social attitudes.
Romantic love is more appreciated when men and women have freedom of choice. Researchers Victor de Munk and Andrey Korotaev claim that in those cultures where premarital and extramarital sex is allowed, romantic love is rated very highly. In this case, it is she who most often becomes a condition of the marriage union. And on the contrary, if double standards are established in society (men are allowed, but women are not) or there are strict rules in relation to both sexes, the need for romantic love is sharply reduced.
It's always easier to fall in love with a familiar face. This conclusion was reached by scientists from the University of Liverpool. According to their research, the human brain prefers familiar faces when choosing a potential partner. The test data suggests that the brain retains separate visual images of male and female faces and reacts to them if it encounters something similar. Moreover, according to Dr. Anthony Little, their experiment showed that the face can be a decisive factor in choosing a partner.
Sex maintains testosterone levels in the body. Researchers at the University of Sydney measured the level of testosterone and other hormones in the blood of the subjects. They found that a 10% decrease in testosterone levels was associated with a decrease in sexual activity and desire, but not with fewer erections. That is, the less often a man has sex, the lower the testosterone level in his blood.
Love is two areas of the brain and dopamine. The same Fisher proved that when lovers look at photos of their partners, the caudate nucleus (part of the reptilian brain is responsible for the desire for pleasure) and the departments in the ventral zone of the tire are most activated. The latter stores dopamine: it is produced during the processes from which a person gets pleasure.
Love without sex is real. Israeli philosopher Aaron Ben-Zeev argues that there is no clear boundary between romantic love and sexual desire. But at the same time, it is impossible to put an equal sign between them, often for people love is not identified with sex. He cites a study in which more than 90% of the subjects rejected the statement: "The best thing in love is sex." At the same time, 61% of women and 35% of men agreed with the statement: "I was in love without feeling any need for sex." And finally, the scientist says that "most people think that love and sex can be separated, but would prefer their combination."
From the point of view of psychological well-being, polyamores do not differ from monogamous couples. Polyamorous relationships imply that consensual partners can have romantic or sexual relationships with others. A 2015 study claims that the quality of polyamorous relationships, as well as their level of psychological well-being, are no different from similar indicators of monogamous participants.
Women are better at predicting the development of relationships. A longitudinal study published in 2001 evaluated what assessments friends give about the future of a couple. Firstly, friends assessed the state of the relationship much more negatively than the couple themselves. Secondly, it turned out that women are better than men at predicting how relationships will develop. They were especially successful in predicting the breakup of a relationship.
In a relationship, it's better not to compare your partner with someone else. According to scientists from University of Toronto, comparison leads to negative consequences. It becomes difficult to maintain a positive perception of a partner, which turns into a source of stress and conflict in the relationship. But at the same time there is a psychological mechanism of "coincidence of yourself and the other", which helps to maintain a positive opinion about your partner. This mechanism depends on the extent to which a person considers himself and his partner to be one. The higher this indicator, the more effectively people are able to maintain a positive opinion about their partner and consider him close to the ideal, and this has a positive effect on their relationship.
Extroverts remarry faster. The analysis, based on data from a large-scale representative study on divorce in Flanders, showed how personal factors influence the development of partnership after separation. High rates of extroversion increase the likelihood of re-partnership, and neuroticism reduces the stability in partnerships. At the same time, older age and the presence of children reduce the likelihood of remarriage of the partnership, higher education, on the contrary, increases it.
Love can even cope with depression. According to a study by the University of Alberta, the support of a loved one helps to overcome stress and depression. Researchers surveyed couples for their level of depression, self-esteem and mutual support and found that the support provided to a partner when he is stressed is associated with self-esteem and depression in the future. For example, men who supported a depressed partner had increased self-esteem. And women who received support from their partner had increased self-esteem and decreased the likelihood of depression in the future.
And as a result — to heal wounds faster. Another study claims that stress levels directly affect wound healing. Observing elderly people with chronic lower leg wounds, scientists found that patients who experienced the highest levels of depression and anxiety were 4 times more likely to fall into the group with delayed recovery. Conversely, people who reported less distress recovered earlier and their wounds healed faster. That is, love can actually heal the sick.
Marriage changes people. For four years, German scientists observed 15,000 experimental subjects and found that after marriage, people's openness and extroversion decrease. This pattern is confirmed by another study. The divorced showed increased extroversion in comparison with those who had recently tied the knot. But at the same time, recently married men showed higher scores on conscientiousness and lower scores on neuroticism.
And breakups are pain. According to a scientific study, social rejection and physical pain are not just similar — they are based on the same processes. When people who have recently experienced an unwanted breakup look at a photo of an ex-partner, they have increased activity in areas of the brain that are engaged in processing pain-related experiences. Activation in these areas reached 88%. According to scientists, the difference between a cup of hot coffee spilled on yourself and the pain caused by a photo of an ex-partner is not as great as it may seem.
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