Tyn-dyrdyn-dyrdyn saves humanity: Grand Ladies and Masters of Healing

Tatiana Bateneva, "News of Science"A friend called – a respectable and educated lady.

Embarrassed, she told about a new wonderful doctor who finally discovered the secret of all our endless illnesses and sorrows. Like, tell people – everyone will benefit. Well, I say, I'll tell you why...

Later, the miracle doctor himself called and introduced himself. Something familiar seemed to be in the baritone with a soft Little Russian accent. We agreed to meet. And here I am next to a peeling building, to the side of which is a modest sign "Matryoshka Museum". My hero's name is not listed anywhere. But in vain.

Are you here, Winged Monster?

A demonic-looking man came out to meet me: long black curls, a suit with a metallic sheen, patent leather shoes. Negribetsky Yuri Alexandrovich himself.

The narrow room is painted in dark green and red, with identical bottles with labels on black shelves. Interested in: is this the miracle cure for everything? About this after, strictly says the doctor, first about the main thing. And he begins an hour and a half story, which I retell briefly for lack of space and strength – very scary.

So that's it. People used to live happily ever after. And they began to live little and badly after the flood. It was not an asteroid that caused the flood, but a huge plasmoid in which a Winged Monster flew to Earth. The plasmoid broke into small particles of cold plasma, which dissolved in the atmosphere. Getting inside a person, they cause gorenje, from which free radicals are obtained. Those and "are the root causes of oncological diseases, aging and tyn-dyrdyn-dyrdyn-dyrdyn" (definitions of the author of the theory).

The Winged Monster, or Bird-Man, feeds on the energy that remains after death from every Earthling. Therefore, he (it?) I am interested in making people fat by old age – this way more energy is obtained. He's got us all hooked, that's why we're all dying. And so they would live almost immortally.

Moreover, he is also a criminal, since he stole his plasmoid from Dad and Mom in deep space. But those, having found out about the tricks of the sons, also arrived on Earth. "The father is very angry, the son snaps." But Mom (she's a Girl for some reason) protects us from a nasty son and sooner or later will take him off the Ground. In the meantime, she has established direct contact with Dr. Negribetsky and through him saves individual, the most valuable representatives of humanity, at his request stops natural phenomena. They are the couple who have the honor of pacifying Hurricane Rita, which almost destroyed the United States, preventing a number of terrorist attacks and man-made disasters in Russia, as well as saving two thousand people who turned to the "premature death prevention phone", and some other little things...

To all questions like "What kind of energy is this?", "How does it move around the world, because people die in different places?", "How did you know that it's Mom and Dad, not Uncle and Aunt?", "How do you communicate with Mom?" – Dr. Negribetsky is scary annoyed:

– You are a journalist, so ask the right questions! Personally, I'm not going to answer you with such irony!

But then he explained with a smile that he was not a physicist or a theorist at all, he knew everything thanks to insight, that is, direct knowledge, and their interaction was at the telepathic level.

But most importantly, his mother helped him find protection from diseases and adversities. A healing mineral spring, the water from which protects from everything, it is only necessary to anoint whiskey with it. Water is expensive, because it gets expensive. Then I finally got it. Sensing that I was barely holding back my laughter, the doctor took offense, took away the proofs of his theory that had already been issued from me and warned:

– Just keep in mind, I'm not a boy! I am a serious person! If something...

"Is that a threat or a promise?" I couldn't resist.

– Understand as you want, – the savior sternly knitted his sable eyebrows.

So keep in mind, gentlemen readers: if anything happens to me after this note, ask Dr. Negribetsky, his Mother and the Winged Monster.

"Do you think it's Photoshop?"

To prove his theory, Dr. Negribetsky published a poster with photographs showing fragments of cold plasma in the form of glowing circles, and personally the Monster himself, and Dad and Mom. The monster looks like a bat, then like tropical insects filmed at night in a stream of light, or like smoke whimsically curling over a campfire...

– And where was it taken and by whom – the exact dates, places? – out of professional habit, I tactlessly asked.

– Do you think it's Photoshop, or what? – the author smiled condescendingly. – Everything is authentic, shot on a digit.

After that, I was no longer surprised by the smoky portrait of Dad, who looked like Don Quixote drunk, and the indistinct silhouette of Mom, who for some reason looked like a Chinese. The jewel of the collection was, of course, the frame in the old cemetery. Behind the figure of the boy in the foreground, an energy clot rose from the ground – the silhouette of a ghost, as it is depicted in cartoons. And the Monster's face peeked out of the branches shrilly. When It managed to change the "muzzle of the dog", as the author of the theory assured me, to a terrible face, I did not ask – everything is subject to him, that's clear.

These are the photos that Mr. Negribetsky finally took away from me. But nothing, our photo artists turned out no worse. Professionals after all.

...And other theories of Negribetsky

And then it dawned on me! I remembered 1996. A much younger and less confident Mr. Negribetsky, then not even a citizen of Russia, gathered us for a press conference "Achieving immortality: myth or reality?" And in a blue eye, he assured that he had created a "means of preventing a fatal outcome" and had already saved more than 1,000 people – both individuals and legal entities.

Yes, because the remedy saves not only from diseases, violence, terror, catastrophes, but also from the unplanned termination of the activity of a legal entity! I remember we had a lot of fun then.

And in 2002, he also deciphered the Qumran manuscripts and discovered that the Universe and all events in it are controlled by the Matrix. Objects connected to the Matrix are saved from diseases, misfortunes, catastrophes and troubles, and everything becomes OK with them! The Matrix, of course, chose Mr. Negribetsky to save humanity and connect all the unfortunate to it. To do this, it is enough to enter an alphanumeric symbol into the program - it is converted into a stable force field around the object. And that's it! The object becomes practically immortal. This will be confirmed by the Russian Aerospace Agency, Greenpeace and a number of insurance companies, he assured.

And in 2006, the doctor unveiled a new stunning theory. It turned out that aliens have long been providing invisible assistance to us, earthlings, emitting glowing balls. They protect us from diseases, troubles, help in business and financial matters. Moreover, with the help of an alien friend, Yuri Alexandrovich created a special tonic for the transfer of healing balls from person to person. He cannot name the chemical composition – people are simply not ready for this. But the production is expensive, since the final substance is not found on Earth. Accordingly, the price is high. But it is enough to put a drop on the body – and that's it. If you want to lose weight, you need to rub a drop into the pubic area – you will not eat and feel hungry for a whole month. I remember the newspapers wrote about this too...

Only when the change took place and the protective balls turned into hostile clumps of cold plasma, and the kind alien turned into a Winged Monster, I somehow missed it.

How much do "negribos" cost

That's how modestly, from his own name – "negribosami" – Dr. Negribetsky called the bubbles with healing mineral water. They all look the same. But in fact, everyone is different – "from the rotting of the body", "from spiritual distress", "from business failures" and something else there...

– How much does one cost? – I stuck.

– Expensive! The doctor snapped.

– So maybe I want to buy? I was surprised.

– I'll give it to you.

– Give it to me, I have to give it for examination – to understand what you have there, – I made a smart face.

– Later. When you write the article," he promised vaguely.

Oh, I won't see a nigger. And so it would be necessary – "from failures in business and personal life." One lady from the Ministry of Health and Social Development helped a lot, she said herself.

There are no numbers

Open any popular newspaper, a cheap magazine, turn on the radio – ads about saviors, about psychics, about healers, clairvoyants and hereditary sorcerers are pouring in. It seems that they multiply like cockroaches – sharp eyes, they pull their hands to us: either they bless us, or they ask for money.

And the services of saviors and healers are oh so expensive. On the Internet, a woman complains – in a popular center they took 3,000 rubles for a consultation, and they counted as many as 26,500 for solving a personal problem! She spat and left. She says I can do it myself!

The deputies realized here the other day – the harm from healers and sorcerers is coming, it would be necessary to short them, prohibit advertising of such services. Here we have a Federal center for Traditional Methods of Diagnosis and Treatment - only it can issue certificates of folk healers and only after a thorough check whether they really know how to diagnose or treat. So far, only 130 such certificates have been issued for the whole country. So many healers can be found in any more or less large city.

Only it will be difficult to stop this natural phenomenon now – they themselves released the genie from half a liter. And while in the ministries and departments we will have ladies who smear whiskey with "negribosiki" and rejoice, not to exterminate it and not to withdraw. And the saviors themselves know this – the same doctor Negribetsky confessed:

– I've been doing this for 28 years, but could I have publicly expressed my ideas before, under Brezhnev? They would have put him in the "durka" right away.

As they say, no comments.

Here they are, grand ladies and masters

After the phenomenal rise and crushing fall of Chumak and Kashpirovsky, there are no figures of this scale in the sky of Russia. Maybe Grigory Grabovoy, but it's more of a criminal story.

However, persons "with a lower chimney and a thinner smoke" still plow our gullible expanses. And note, there are some bigwigs to plow – for the money of the working people in the mass of their people. They have common generic characteristics: they adore magnificent titles with a capital letter and homemade awards, which they shower on each other. Everyone has a mysterious biography, sorcerers and shamans in the family, an early manifestation of unique abilities. What does not prevent them from studying in prosaic places, or even not studying anywhere at all – they reach everything with their mind (information is taken from healers' websites or from print advertising).

Raisa Kashubina is a Grand Doctor of Philosophy, Doctor of Economics, she is an Academician, of course, of several academies, she is the Rector of the Universal Institute of Innovative Technologies, she is the Vice–President of the Foundation "Perestroika of Natural Sciences". Direct speech:

– We have gathered to declare ourselves as a large community that has united on the money that people themselves bring. And now I'll tell you what you can say. Thought is material. Take Egypt. Those pyramids – they were built by thought. The whole universe is in us, we are that foundation in the world, that elite... We act on the legitimate level of our soul and supermind. We will move into the fourth dimension, and into the fifth, and into the sixth – and into all dimensions wherever we want!

Alexey Kalashnikov – Medicine man-bioenergetic of the first (higher) Master of Science and Practice, Master of International category, Master of Oriental Folk Medicine, recognized by the healing schools of the Czech Republic, Bulgaria, Germany, full member of the Prague Psi Academy, Member of the Foundation for Spiritual Unity and Harmony (Germany). Blessed by representatives of the Christian and Muslim concessions (so in the original! – "Izvestia"). The man is an X-ray.

Miroslava inherited her talent from her ancestors. On the paternal side – these are Egyptian magicians, priests, appeared in Russia under Peter I. Ural "shamans" are represented in the maternal line. At the age of 3, she was examined for unique abilities, as she moved objects with her eyes, and the irons "stuck" to her body like a magnet. In the third grade, I read the entire multi-volume medical encyclopedia and treated my peers quite successfully. She studied at the Shipbuilding Institute. Before other psychics, she "saw" that licensing should begin, and became a doctor (how you can become a doctor while studying at the shipbuilding institute remains unclear. – "Izvestia").

The Tyumen region, where she worked, started talking about an extraordinary doctor and clairvoyant. She not only treated people, but also found plugs in pipelines. Now she lives in Moscow, organized the Miroslava Center and became its president. In addition to her successes in the treatment of cardiovascular diseases, lung diseases, diabetes, and in the rehabilitation of patients with injuries, she has a rare gift for working with schizophrenia.

And sorcerers are no strangers to progress – here is a whole site magic-academy.ru . Several ladies present their magical services on it. By a strange coincidence, they have simple and unmemorable surnames: Stepanova, Ivanova, Petrova, Antonova... Stepanova S.A., for example, is the President and Founder of the Academy of Higher Magic and Occult Sciences. He is included in the "Golden Register of the Best Sorcerers of Russia", a Magician of the Highest Level of Initiation, the Author of a number of proven and officially registered methods of Practical Magic.

A gift or a diagnosis?

For many years, Ukrainian researcher, Doctor of Medical Sciences Elena Karagodina studied healers, their patients, as well as mentally ill people with delusions of healing. She outlined to us a generalized portrait of a psychic – middle-aged, of secondary education, having in the past a dramatic experience of life losses, serious illnesses or traumatic experiences.

– If we proceed from the scientific and materialistic worldview accepted by medicine, then we can assume that three quarters of them suffer from mental and personal disorders, - explained Elena Gennadievna. – And if we admit that along with the materialistic, there may be a mythological, and even a fantastic worldview, then in this coordinate system their views do not seem so delusional. I think about 20% of healers suffer from mental disorders. And if their patients have a similar worldview and they believe that their illness is caused by the "evil eye" or "damage", then the result of their treatment with the healer will be positive.

The director of the Center for Traditional Medicine "ENIOM" (stands for something energy-informational, which serious science does not recognize), the president of the International Academy of Proscopic Sciences named after M. Nostradamus, the honorary president of the All-Russian Professional Medical Association described his wards even more frankly (unfortunately, it is impossible to give a full list of titles due to its vastness) Professor Yakov Galperin. Here is what he said at the congress on the occasion of the establishment of the public non-profit organization "Elite of specialists in traditional folk Medicine and Healing":
– We checked the identity of our healers. Of course, they are all psychasthenics – people who cannot fight, defend their own. But they also have paranoid traits. There are like two people sitting in them. This split personality used to make it possible to consider them all schizophrenics. But their schizophrenia does not reach the extreme when it is already a disease.

Why are millions coming to them

But no matter how much scientific medicine exposes would-be healers and charlatans, people go to them and carry blood, sometimes the last rubles. According to various estimates, from 5 to 10% of the Russian population use the services of healers of all stripes. No joke – from 7 to 14 million people a year! And even quite educated (or consider themselves such) people.

In what does an excellently trained and armed with modern equipment doctor lose to a semi-literate and openly delusional lady healer? And the fact is that the doctor treats with logic and appeals to reason, and the lady appeals to feelings and emotions. The doctor demands discipline and imposes responsibility, the lady tells you to rely on God (angel, planets, holy stone, horsehair – then everywhere) and removes responsibility.

The doctors themselves know perfectly well that from 15 to 30% (some say half!) our diseases are psychosomatic. That is, the root cause of high blood pressure, stomach ulcers, obesity, eczema, etc. are resentments, everyday troubles, fears, suppressed emotions... They know something, but they are still treated with pills, potions, operations and manipulations. To talk to the patient, to listen to him, to attract to healing the powerful forces of his own psyche, only a few from the medical profession are able and want to. The postulates of medical ethics and deontology – once the cornerstone of healing – have been completely forgotten or not studied at all by new generations of doctors.

So why are you surprised that Aunt Masha, offended by her daughter and therefore ill, will not go to you, but to Miroslav? And the official Svetlana Mikhailovna, humiliated and insulted by her superiors, will treat high blood pressure not in a world-renowned clinic, but with Dr. Negribetsky?

Until every doctor becomes a part-time psychologist, until he learns to listen and understand the patient, until family, personal and social conflicts are quickly, competently and informally resolved by services created specifically for this purpose, the folk path to sorcerers and fortune-tellers will not overgrow.

A sacred place – the soul of a person – is never empty. At least some kind of thistle, but it will grow in it.

Portal "Eternal youth" www.vechnayamolodost.ru30.05.2008